soldierkiara:

(Tumblr deleted my answer to this once already and It made me Really Sad but here you go love!)

Genji saw it in the way you smiled. 

The way you said you weren’t that hungry. That you were too tired to go to training that day. 

He saw it in the way your shoulders slouched when you thought no one was looking. As if some invisible force was weighing you down, claws forcing your mouth into a smile that didn’t meet your eyes.

 He tried to support you in every way he knew how; Taking you to Zenyatta for guidance, offering to go with you to see a doctor or a therapist, even offering to take you far away from whatever problems were haunting you at that moment so you could take the time to breathe. 

In the end, none of it mattered. 

When Genji left the house that day, he didn’t expect to have his life torn away from him for the second time. To have everything he had built up since his brother’s betrayal shattered in an instant. 

To have the one thing he loved taken away from him. 

When you told Genji that you were hungry and craving take-out, he didn’t hesitate to get it for you. You had barely eaten anything in four days, even despite the wonderful cooking Genji had done for you. You didn’t have the energy to eat, nor the drive to. He had kissed your forehead, promising to return quickly with the food. You had smiled after him, the barest trace of a real smile hiding in your lips. You watched him go, eager for him to return. 

Genji did not expect to come home to find you gone, a note left in your stead. 

He set down the take-out, as well as the couple groceries he had grabbed while he was waiting. He picked up the note, hands trembling slightly. 

‘Genji,

  I’m sorry to do this to you after all you have done for me. I need you to know that I love you dearly, but I cannot stand to see you suffer by my side any longer. You have been an amazing boyfriend, as well as a kind person. I’m sorry I have made the last few months of your life exceptionally dreary, and I hope that my leaving will allow you to move on with your life. I appreciate the effort you put into me, into trying to make me better again and show me the good that was left in the world when I thought there to be none. Unfortunately, I wasn’t good enough for you. I couldn’t be the person you deserved. Knowing this, I hope you don’t shed tears for me. Please, move on. Find someone who can fill your life with happiness; someone who can stand by your side as an equal, not a project that needs to be worked on. 

 I’m sorry for leaving you with the burden of my things. I tried to arrange for most of it to be gone by now, but I knew that  you would catch on too quickly and try to prevent me from making this decision. You can sell my things, burn them, donate them, it doesn’t matter to me. I won’t need them where I’m going. I am just going to burn anyway.

 I love you, Genji Shimada. If only we had met in a different life. A life where I could have been your equal. 

 With Love, 

     Y/n.’ 

He dropped the letter, sprinting out the front door and down the road. He knew where you would be, where you would go. You two passed by this bridge every day on your walks, something he had hoped would clear your mind. He didn’t bother to wipe the tears running down his face, to hide the sobs that ripped from his chest. His only thought was you, praying that you were safe, praying that someone had helped you, had seen what you were going through and had managed to stop you-

He stopped at the end of the bridge. Police cars, ambulances and fire trucks all crowded the small parking lot that led to the river. People were murmuring and pointing down at the river. A police boat with three officers was returning to shore, carrying something among them. Genji turned away, falling to his knees. He screamed at the sky, screamed at every God he could think of that might answer him. People rushed to his side to see if he was alright, but he pushed them all away. He was inconsolable. The love of his life was gone, the one thing keeping him grounded to this Earth. 

Genji shook his head, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his suit.  Flowers adorned your casket, varying in different colours. People walked by him, offering words of condolences and prayers. He wanted to spit at them, at those who offered him prayers and words of hope. His prayers had gone unanswered, and so would theirs.

The funeral proceeded slowly, much too slowly for Genji’s liking. He didn’t want these people to be there, to give speeches about you and how amazing you were. He wanted to be in that casket with you. 

Genji didn’t lay any flowers on your casket, not as the speeches were going and not when they lowered it into the ground. He felt someone nudge him gently, as if urging him to throw a flower. He did not. Genji stayed at your grave even as the ceremony was drawing to an end. He stayed until every last person had gone. He silently cursed the sun for shining. Why did it shine? There was no happiness left in his world. There never would be again. 

He carefully pulled a box out of his pocket, staring down at the deep blue velvet of the box. He opened it, delicately holding the pair of rings he had purchased two days before your death.

 He placed them next to your gravestone, allowing his tears to slide down his chin, managing to hold onto the sob that threatened to rip his heart apart.  He wouldn’t cry again after this day. Crying would not bring you back to him.

Nothing would bring you back