Hanzo and sex pollen because I think it would be great to have his self control shattered into a million pieces. Reyes in one bed cause he would try to keep it professional but wake up with his arms wrapped around you and his crotch on your butt. And McCree and fake dating (especially in Blackwatch) cause he’d be so confident in himself. He can totally be the perfect fake boyfriend. But then he starts giving you flowers for no reason other than to see you smile and he’s fallen. Hard.
“Come on, ‘Baby.’” Brigitte hoisted you higher in her hold against the front of her body.
You whined in protest at being called a baby, but you clung to her tighter. You decided your sick self was too tired to walk, dragging your feet through the house and whimpering for your temporary mommy, Brigitte.
She fried you an egg with one arm and held you under your bottom with the other. Your strong woman taking care of you. She blew her bright red bangs off her forehead, the heat from your fevered body and the frying pan making her sweat.
She plated the egg and put it on the table with you still clinging to her. She let you down onto a chair. You picked up the fork she placed next to the fried egg.
“Let me,” she said, smiling and reaching for the fork.
“No,” you pouted. “I can do it myself.”
However, the fork seemed to have gained ten pounds. Weak as a newborn kitten, you stabbed at the egg, missing and striking the plate.
“I want to feed you,” she cooed. She held out her hand, and you dropped the fork into it. She chuckled. “I don’t mind.”
She scooped up some egg and fed it into your mouth. You were a sorry sight with unkempt, greasy hair, and tired eyes. You didn’t have much of an appetite, either.
“Come onnnnn,” she insisted. “You have to keep your strength up.”
“What strength?” you muttered miserably. Then your face fell, shaking your head. “Sorry, Babe. I’m just tired.”
“I know, Honey. It’s alright.”
Brigitte’s bright, hopeful voice was your only source of joy right now. You were too tired to do anything but listen. She got you some more medicine. You let her spoonfeed you with no complaints this time. She carried you to bed and tucked you in. She pushed your hair back from your face and kissed your forehead, “Mwah!”
She had to leave to go train with the other members of Overwatch.
“Nooooo,” you whined, refusing to let go of her hand.
She had to pry your hand off. Sadly, it wasn’t hard.
“Go to sleep, okay? I’ll be back before you know it.”
You gave her your best pout, but she still left, promising you that you would be fine.
“But I’m dying!” you wailed.
She laughed loudly, shutting the front door behind her.
You know, I was thinking about why McCree was in Japan for the noodle robbery incident, and something came to me that is absolutely not canon, but entirely too funny to not consider.
McCree was there as backup for Genji for the whole “gonna confront the brother who killed me showdown.” Because they are bros. And bros help bros distract the guards who have come as reinforcements while Genji has a violent heart to heart with his sibling.
So like Genji and Hanzo are having this dramatic fight inside with dragons and revelations while McCree is outside the compound getting into like a fist fight with seven guards.
McCree: “You’re just gonna talk to him.”
Genji. “Yes.”
McCree: “You sure.”
Genji: “Yes. I will only fight in self defense.”
Later at the compound, fighting seven guards, noticing three motherfucking glowing dragons come from the side of the building: “TALK MY ASS.”
demialwrites 